Yes, you're not mistaken. There can be a wrong way to pray.
Isn't it terrible to realize that you may have wasted hours praying prayers that will never be answered? Stop and turn around right now.
The sooner you learn the RIGHT way, the better! There is no time like the present to do that!
As a starting point, here are four things you should know:
1. THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF PRAYER
To begin with, different situations call for different types of prayer.
For instance, thanksgiving prayers are typically offered during times of celebration, while petition prayers are often offered during times of need or distress.
In my opinion, the most important aspect of prayer is connecting with God personally.
When it comes to connecting with God, prayer is one of the most intimate, powerful ways of doing it. It is like having a conversation with our Heavenly Father. Instead of reciting verses or asking for things, it's a time to share your thoughts ... your heart ... your feelings ... your LIFE!
It is not a prayer for needs to be met, it is not a war prayer, it is not a prayer for petitions - it is just a conversation with a loving Father about all kinds of issues.
In this type of prayer, you are focused on building a relationship with God.
Conversation with God ...
- helps us become more aware of His presence in our lives
- allows us to develop a deeper connection with Him
- allows us to practice listening to God, hear His guidance, and be encouraged by His word
- is a way to grow in our faith and become strong in Him.
Obviously, this includes LISTENING. Listening is one of the most powerful ingredients in prayer. Prayer should not be a monologue where you talk all the time. To have a good conversation with God, you must listen twice as much as you talk.As Mother Teresa once said: “Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.”
Therefore, get better at listening! Be still during prayer and listen for what God may have to say as a response to your prayer.
2. GOD WANTS TO ANSWER OUR PRAYERS
There is a common misconception that God must be bribed to give answers.
Among these bribing tactics are ...
- praying long prayers
- using religious words
- getting lots and lots of people to join
- fasting
- all in an attempt to get God's attention and make Him feel sorry for us.
Have you used any of these (consciously or unconsciously)? God is not moved by any of these things. He is only interested in whether you pray in faith.
If you wish for your prayers to be answered, you must pray according to what He directs, and not what you think is best for you.
God wants to answer your prayers. Each and every one.
In fact, I think He is more willing to answer us than we are willing to believe it! He has given very clear directions right here in the Bible. It's just a matter of following them.
3. YOUR WORDS DON'T IMPRESS GOD
God is not interested in fancy or big words.
The Lord is interested in the state of one's heart...
- does one have faith
- does one have the right attitude
- does one have a heart free of bitterness and unforgiveness
- what are your heart's true motivations
- ... the list goes on and on.
Remember, God looks at what is in the HEART. He is more interested in heart attitude than in outward appearances. He looks at what is inside a person, not only what they say. He knows our innermost thoughts and desires and cares about those, not the empty or impressive words we use.
My experience has been that many people are too afraid to pray out loud. Normally, they fear their own lack of big or religious words; they compare themselves to others; they think they are not smart enough...
Relax! God isn't grading us on our grammar or vocabulary! He just wants to hear what's in your heart.
All of these thoughts are lies used by the enemy to discourage people from praying. Don't let those lies win; start talking to God! He's listening and wants to hear from you. Pray with honesty and humility, and He will answer.
4. STOP ASKING GOD TO DO WHAT HE TOLD YOU TO DO!
That's right! Many prayers go unanswered because we ask God to do what He has told us to do! It's like asking a teacher to do your homework for you.
It doesn't matter how much you pray, the answer will always be the same - you have to do it yourself!
Imagine the situation where a parent tells their kid to clean up his room, and the child instead starts nagging mommy to do it! God gave us the command to pray actively. The work must be done by YOU, not by God!
Take a look at the following verse:
Mark 11.22-24
22 So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. 23 For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. 24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
YOU have to believe, and YOU have to speak to the mountain!
Here are 3 powerful keys in this verse and when you begin using them, you will be able to turn your unanswered prayers into answered ones.
Let's take a closer look at those keys:
(KEY #1) SPEAK TO YOUR MOUNTAIN
Your authority as a child of God gives you the power to speak to problems and command them to go. Instead of commanding the mountain to move, people ask God to remove the mountain (problem). The power lies within your mouth.
(KEY #2) GET RID OF ALL DOUBT
You can be both believing and unbelieving at the same time.
Let go of your doubts and unbelief. Choose to believe God more than your own thoughts and feelings.
There is a difference between unbelief and disbelief. Unbelief is doubt. Disbelief is the absence of belief.
Take a look at the following verse:
Mark 9.24
22 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”
He said I believe. Help my unbelief. Take note that Jesus didn't condemn him because of this! Jesus answered his prayer after he confessed and repented from his unbelief.
(To repent means to have a change of thought, of heart, and of action because of that).
(KEY #3) BELIEVE THAT YOU RECEIVE THE MOMENT YOU ASK IN FAITH
Start speaking your faith, not your doubts.
It is often one's own words that cancel prayers. Jesus said - it will be according to your faith. If you believe in your doubt more than in His word, your prayer will be unanswered!
Please stop praying "religious" prayers. Start praying according to the principles Jesus taught us and your prayers will be answered.
There is no way God would ever lie to us! He assured us that our prayers WILL BE ANSWERED.
Those are the kinds of prayers that are worth praying, not the ones where you are just wasting your breath and time!
My hope is that these insights will help you to transform your prayer life today.
God loves you!
Until next time...
Stef Espag
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